um … hello
it’s me. no seriously me. you but from the future.
I wanted to start off by saying I so hope I have caught you on a good day. One of those sunny days where all your troubles seem to be forgotten … I know how rare those days were. Don’t worry though I don’t want to be cliche but; it does get better although it may feel like it never will right now. Oh, also this will contain some life spoilers but I don’t want that to deter you I only included what I believe you need to hear right now.
Keep pushing. Like really pushing. You know yourself best and don’t let those around you stop you doing the things you feel you have to do. I’ll let you in on a secret … you do manage to move schools and it honestly is one of the best things you have ever done. I know in the meantime you broke your parent’s hearts but that short time of suffering is well worth it for what is to come. You will finally start to settle and discover exactly who you are though this is something I am still in the process of even whilst writing this letter at the age of 20. I wanted to make this my first point because I know that this was, in fact, the most important thing to you throughout your teenage years.
Also whilst at school continue to follow your dreams and don’t let your teachers stop you! I know your first school said you would fail all your subjects and therefore wouldn’t let you take media (the one subject you really wanted to do). Don’t worry though your new school allow you to take it and you end up with an A taking film and media into college and then onto University (basically a massive middle finger to your original secondary school!).
I want you to treasure the moments you spend with your friends and to realise it’s not about quantity but about quality. Find friends who truly get you and don’t worry that you aren’t part of a massive group you honestly are much better off that way. Enjoy those days visiting theme parks, going out on the bikes and taking the little pocket money you owned to the corner shop to stock up on sweets. These are the little things you really miss once you hit adulthood.
I would like you to know that your love of theatre hasn’t gone away! You are now seeing more shows than ever up in London and at your local theatre. Your list of shows you’d like to see is growing daily! Enjoy your time at theatre school and appreciate it as much as you can! Your parents have spent so much money purely for your enjoyment. You’ll also instantly miss it as soon as you leave! Don’t worry though you find another local amateur dramatics group full of lovely people where you get to continue your passion for dance.
You will meet your best friend of 7 years (well at the time of writing this) who will accompany you on many trips around the world, all those missed holidays when you were younger are definitely made up for with multiple trips a year. I know you have felt like a bit of an outsider but this time you have found someone who really understands you and everything you have been through. You will also have scarily similar paths in life and love all the same things! You have essentially found a lovely person who inspires you to grow and improve yourself every single day.
Spend as much time with your cousin Courtney as you can. We have many many wonderful memories together but as you get older it becomes increasingly more difficult to meet up resulting in going through a period where you barely got the chance to see each other at all. Fortunately, now we are seeing each other frequently and you get to go and visit her at university which is always a lot of fun! Love you lots and lots like jelly tots Courtney if you are in fact reading this now! x
Love those in our family with your whole heart and always make the effort to visit them. Especially those older members and cherish their presence. They will not be around forever and you will miss them dearly. You have some challenging times ahead over the next few years but it helps pull your family even closer together and makes you truly realise the importance of family.
You have a lot to come over the next few years and I hope you are excited by what’s to come! Remain yourself and don’t change for anyone.
future Jess x